Another original poem by Cœur d’un Poète.
Based on stories told by people along the way.
“My love, it’s a road I’ve been down
so many times before.
Going day by day, you hope
not to give in, or lose your way.
I’ve done this so many times,
to give in, feel bad, and re-resolve.
Albert tosses around in his grave
Watching me make the same mistakes,
And here I am, making them again,
Always to expect a different outcome.
Such is the nature of my addictions,
Never to end, but always to have them.”
“My love, cleansing is my calling,
my redemption from sober-less timing.
I can never feel as pure as the already clean
when I am not in abstention myself.
It is a purification cycle that is and is not,
to always be my freedom and my chain.
Along the way, I risk no freedom with more chain
and to never again live out of the rain.
I cleanse myself to be worthy of you,
never to miss another moment of all that you do.
Patterns are all I am, whether I break them or not,
but I pray no more of our moments are ever forgot.”
“My love, humans weren’t made to be perfect,
but we don’t learn very quick either.
I’ve fallen in yet another pattern,
and got stuck in the same manner as before.
Don’t fault or pity me – this is what I am,
battered down by the demons I’ve developed.
Some experiences just can’t be unlearned
and bind us in circles without hope of excision.
If I’m imperfect, it’s not that I can’t change,
but I lose more of me as it goes on.
I don’t know if I truly know myself,
or if I was lost trying to always be cleansed.”
“My love, I have found myself again,
out of the ashes of time I’ve risen.
I am a new person, ready to live once again,
and be the person your eyes have seen in me.
Eternity is a moment etched in your joy,
where I am both weak and strong in your presence.
I can go knowing your love and support is substance
enough to merit continuance of this cleanse.
There are no ends I will not no longer go,
No paths I will not rather not meet
to justify the renewed faith in your bountiful eyes
and the calm clarity now carved within me.“
“Former love, I am lost once more in the ocean of my failure,
and I don’t know if I’ll return to you as I was.
I am sorry if I never lived up to your fantasy,
but reality has made me the demon of your dreams.
I have become a nightmare so, and you’ve left me,
a love of mine neglected and rusted for too long.
My heart and home sit empty in the void of nurture,
with the walls and veins absent of all texture.
My cleanse has been, and is, a clear failure;
neither faith nor abstinence is enough to push forward.
I go ahead now, knowing all that I’ve lost
you were my crutch, and I, your dead weight.”